Stalking is not trolling, and this is the one page on this site that tells you to stop applying everything else on it.
Why the advice on the rest of this site is wrong here
The phrase this site is named after is guidance about a stranger who wants a reaction. Deny the reaction, remove the reward, and — for that kind of person — the behaviour often stops. That logic is sound where it applies.
It does not apply here, and the reason is worth being precise about, because stalking guidance also says not to communicate with the person. The two pieces of advice sound identical and mean opposite things.
"Don't feed the trolls" is an instruction to do nothing. Stay quiet, wait, it passes.
"No contact" in stalking guidance is a communications instruction sitting inside a protocol of maximum action. Do not reply — and keep a dated record of every incident, and preserve what you already have, and get an advocate, and talk to police, and have someone assess the risk properly.
Silence is the only part the two have in common. Advice that stops at "just ignore it" hands you the silence and none of the protection, which is the worst available combination.
Why this is treated as serious
Two things are worth knowing, stated carefully.
The first is scale. Stalking very frequently has an online component: in the year to March 2024, [1] That is not a separate phenomenon called "cyberstalking" — it is usually the same course of conduct, by the same person, using whatever is available.
The second is why professionals treat stalking as a risk marker rather than a nuisance. In a US study of intimate-partner femicide and attempted femicide, [2]
Read that carefully, because it is routinely quoted backwards. It says that most people killed by a partner had been stalked beforehand. It does not say that most people who are stalked are killed. The overwhelming majority are not. What it establishes is that stalking is the kind of thing that appears in the history of very serious harm — which is why services take it seriously when you report it, and why you are not overreacting by asking for help.
Before you change anything
Two instincts are very common and both can cost you.
Do not delete things. The messages, the emails, the missed calls, the odd comment on an old post — those are the record. Screenshot rather than delete, and keep copies somewhere the other person cannot reach. A record with dates and times is what lets someone else see the pattern you are living inside.
Be careful with devices before you act on them. If you think your phone, laptop or accounts might be monitored, be aware that removing monitoring software can tell the other person you found it, and can destroy the evidence that it was there. This is the point at which to get advice from people who do this specifically, rather than to start changing settings.
What you can actually do
Split by who does it, because almost none of this is your job alone.
Things only you can start
- Write down what has already happened, as best you remember, with dates.
- Keep adding to it. One entry per incident is enough.
- Tell one person you trust, so the record is not only in your head.
Things a service can do
- Help you work out whether this is stalking, which you should not have to judge.
- Assess the risk using tools designed for it, which is a trained job.
- Advocate for you with police, employers, landlords or platforms.
- Advise on devices and accounts without you having to guess.
Things the platform can do
Report through the platform's own process as well, not instead. Platforms can remove content and suspend accounts; they cannot assess your safety.
What to do about contact
Do not reply, and do not confront them. That is where stalking guidance and the folk advice genuinely agree. But it is one line in a plan, not the plan.
Reporting
Stalking is illegal and can include being followed or constantly harassed by another person — for example being sent unwanted emails.
UK guidance is clear about which number to use: [3] The distinction matters — 999 is for danger now, 101 for reporting what has already happened, and using 101 does not mean you are being taken less seriously.
For advice rather than an emergency, [4] Note the hours: it is closed at weekends, so if you are frightened outside them, that is what emergency services are for.
Laws differ substantially between England and Wales, Scotland, Northern Ireland, the United States federally and state by state, Australia and New Zealand. Nothing here is legal advice, and what will happen in your case is a question for someone local to you.
Support services by country lists who to contact, what each organisation actually does, and — where it matters — what it does not.